I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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