the new term for farting is butt boxing.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
