Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize