You're completely useless in the revolution.
i permit you to call me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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