sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
