Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
