Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Of course I have a pirate flag
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
