Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This is not my ceiling
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
zippers are such a cool invention
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
