Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
