GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
