Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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