that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
