the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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