She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
