oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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