I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
