did you get engaged???
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
