Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
