I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
