i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
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