Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As shirtless as possible
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
