Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dicks are not precious.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
