Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
