So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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