going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
