is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
