Already got asked if we're dating
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
