Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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