just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
