Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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