I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
