Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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