How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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