Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
