I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
