he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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