I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
