It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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