I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
