ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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