Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
