Ketchup is God's man juice
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
