I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
