My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
two words: eviction party
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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