i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize