that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize