dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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