lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
