Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
