remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
