Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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