he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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