This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what day is it and did you see me today?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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