You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
