plz talk dirty to me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
