I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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