Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
