the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize