The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
