He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
