her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
