I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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