They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize