I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
