wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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