Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Semen is not good for contacts.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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