i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
