are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize