It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
