so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
