There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
