A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
