My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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