Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
