Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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